This blog represents the official view of the voices in my head.





Tuesday, December 15, 2009

past revisited......

Was clearing online clutter......and found these old write up's....and i had three choices.


1) Read it and file them again in some old folder


2) Edit it and make yourself look less like a vamp.


3) republish it...just like the way you found it.


               Read it and decide what chocie i made :-)









Koi hero yahan koi zero yahan

Koi star hai koi bekaar hai
Main kaun hoon tumse main kya kahoon
Hai sach to ye doston
Ho I am the best I am the best I am the best
Ho you are the best


I am the best I am the best I am the best


Yes i seriously believe in this song....and sing it often.....when i am feeling low.. lost and devoid of hope...believe in yourself and you will never be alone...as the saying goes "Solitude vivifies; isolation kills." . I enjoy my solitude inspite of having a 9 year old hyper , happy and real smart ass daughter....she is my jaan.....my baby . here let me provide you a window to peek in to my life......these are random incidents ..written not to provide you guys some entertainment but to get rid of thoughts that occupy precious space in my brain.


I was shortenin kiddo's PT skirt....yah she told me that before going to sleep..."mommy.......i have to wear PT uniform tomm ...puhlleeeezeee can you shorten my skirtt " this was said with a very innocent face.....[ *tip* innocent faces work with grandparents and fathers...they dont have desired effect on mothers] obviously i yelled at her for reminding it so late as any self respecting mom would....and said in a very severe tone..." no way...you go to school with long skirt ..looking like a cartoon..i aint shortening it"....and here i am fighting with needle and thread and shortening a skirt that would fit me fine.....are other kids in her school so well fed that they get this kinda uniform?...hmmmmmm...i will ask her what is average weight of kids in her class.....ok skirt is almost done ...such a weird wrap around skirt...............silence....................................ok i stiched my night dress along with her skirt...wht do i do now? cut stiches and do it all over again? NO WAY ! ......hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....ok so i have worn this night dress so many times...oh look! it looks faded if you see it sideways.....decision has been made...night dress will have to go....i go to bed with three new dusters and one PT uniform that fits my kid well...bravo.










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I look exactly the way i think i look......harried ...frustrated and witchy .......what do you expect when your child tells you night before that she has exam tomm............i exclaim EXAMMMMMM???? that one sentence turns a perfectly serene mother in to a yellin bansheee......did you say EXAAAAAAAAAAM? ......kid goes ..."errrrr i mean test mom * fear and guilt on face* and how the hell test is different from exam?..... i glare and ask.......kid goes " i wont get report card" is that supposed to make me feel better? .....in a weird way it does......ok so its test not exam...so are you prepared?......kid goes " errm yah almost? " .......almost? what is remaining?...kid goes" hhehehe let me check " and all hell breaks loose ....you dont even know what is going to come ........arghhhhhhh.....a lil angel inside me calms me down ...RELAX ..breathe woman breathe.....its a test...simple test ......it aint end of the world....even if she doesnt score well....sky wont fall and earth wont swallow you.....RELAX ....and i relax......ok kiddoo.......take half hour to mug what you can and go to sleep.....we gotta get up early.....next morning i wake up knowing today is test and my kid is not prepared.....good mom slaps bad mom and says .....shut up you cow.....sit straight and recite "gayatri mantra".....i do exactly that and try not to glare at my kid when she is gettin ready for school.....as she is getting ready to go...waiting for her auto to come....... the witch inside me can not take it anymore and asks........your pencils sharpened? i hope you remember what you learnt last night before going to sleep......kid goes " i did two chapters " and how many are there ? kid goes " five " WOTTTTTTT FIVEEEEE .....when most of the moms are saying " best of luck jaaanu" i tell her " ok go fail ..go fail"....and after she leaves i sit drink my tea....and find it bit salty...my tears are saying sorry to my baby too late.

8 comments:

Madhusmita said...

Well....what can I say - you said it yourself. 'You are the best'

And I can tell you that I would have acted/reacted exactly the same way. So we are not exactly 'model' Moms....but then who wants to be one? We are who we are and we have to believe that it is the 'best'. Am I right?

nidhi said...

I did this to my elder one today....worst thing, i'm not even guilty of the crime. I have decided to take the responsibility of rearing him into an irresponsible kid & taken upon this harrowing task of correcting myself now & here before he grows up into being an irresponsible adult & i'm left with no time to do the most coveted corrections in his demeanor. *sigh*

Bhavi said...

Hey pal m touched by ur last sentence............tea is salty.Love u babes.I loved the way u described bad and good mother.Its so very well depicted.U r truely a best women and then a gr8 mum.

smita said...

Very touching indeed....

Anonymous said...

Pal I had tears while reading this caz I just felt the same . Two days before Laksh cried like crazy caz he did not wished to go to school (which he never does ) and I pulled/dragged him till his bus stop and threw him in his bus . He folded his hand and said " mom please I don't want to go " and I asked the driver to leave ..He went in front of me folding his little hands and screaming mom mom mom .. As he left I had tears in my eyes as said " such a BITCH I am ..World would have not gone upside down if he would have not gone to school today as if he will bring back MBA degree for me " I felt like a chudail ( Pal u called me by a correct name today ) Felt sooooo bad ..what a evil mom I am ...

Anonymous said...

Pal I had tears while reading this caz I just felt the same . Two days before Laksh cried like crazy caz he did not wished to go to school (which he never does ) and I pulled/dragged him till his bus stop and threw him in his bus . He folded his hand and said " mom please I don't want to go " and I asked the driver to leave ..He went in front of me folding his little hands and screaming mom mom mom .. As he left I had tears in my eyes as said " such a BITCH I am ..World would have not gone upside down if he would have not gone to school today as if he will bring back MBA degree for me " I felt like a chudail ( Pal u called me by a correct name today ) Felt sooooo bad ..what a evil mom I am ...

Roopa said...

Pal....I missed ur blog so long...Awesome...Just the same Mom..here too...Why cant I take things light?? I have to now....I OUGHT to take things light when it comes to my kiddo.....!

Anonymous said...

:-) There is something very cute about your write up's even dark intense one's.