Women need not always keep their mouths shut and their wombs open.

Following are some portions taken from Gauri's blog...who is she? no idea ....saw this blog entry ..read it and identified with it and thats why it is here.....some ppl convert  thoughts amazingly to text....she seems to be one of those ppl....unfortunately she has not been makin new entries...so here is her take on solitude and women

Sometimes I walk at night, and when I look at up the dark, velvet immensity I feel all the issues that are bothering me shrink into insignificance. My only per-occupation then is connecting, with a forefinger, the dots of light in Orion’s belt, or trying to identify the Great Bear and some of the more common constellations that sequin the night sky.

I don’t know why tiny frogs and large constellations should help me to resolve issues wholly unconnected with either. But I do know that I return from these walks, from my communion with Nature, calmed and strengthened and somehow better able to deal with the problems that I have held at bay for the duration of the walk.

And then there are times when I need to commune with myself – especially when the issues are sensitive, emotional ones. I do this when I am driving; when I’m alone in the car, with nobody to talk to and nothing to look at apart from traffic lights or other vehicles.

In solitude, I am able to extricate my arguments from the morass of emotions in which they have gotten mired, clean them off and examine them with dispassionate eyes. And with no one around to judge, I am able to admit aloud to mistakes that I might have made – or endorse decisions that I believe are the right ones. I find that at the end of the car ride, I am able to take a more balanced, reasoned view of things.

In the rush-hour existence that many of us lead today, I believe that a few minutes of solitude in a day is a necessary pit stop. I would argue that solitude helps us connect with ourselves and re-charge our batteries. That in effect, it refreshes and rejuvenates us.

Of course, how we celebrate these moments of solitary splendor is up to us. Some of us may choose to read, paint or listen to music. Some might opt for a trek in the wilderness. Others might be content to lie on a hillside and watch the clouds go by. And yet others might just need to stay home alone.

Motherhood is:

Reflective

It's a lot like a mirror.

'cause you get what you give,

whether you mean to or not.

so smile & giggle & hug & kiss

and watch it come right back at ya

इन लकीरों को ज़मीन ही पे रहने दो दिलों पे मत उतारो

इन लकीरों को ज़मीन ही पे रहने दो दिलों पे मत उतारो

दिखाई देते हैं दूर तक अब भी साए कोई
मगर बुलाने से वक़्त लौटे न आये कोई
चलो न
फिर से बिछायें दरिया
बजायें ढोलक
लगाके मेहँदी
सुरीले टप्पे सुनायें कोई
पतंग उड़ायें छतों पे चढ़के मोहल्ले वाले
फलक तो सांझा है उसमें पेचें लड़ाए कोई
उठो कबड्डी-कबड्डी खेलें सरहदों पर
जो आये अबके तो लौटकर फिर न जाये कोई
नजर में रहते हुए जब तुम नज़र नहीं आते
ये सुर मिलाते हैं जब तुम इधर नहीं आते
नजर में रहते हो जब तुम नज़र नहीं आते
ये सुर बुलाते हैं जब तुम इधर नहीं आते

इन लकीरों को ज़मीन ही पे रहने दो
दिलों पे मत उतारो ...

A beautiful song......always lingers in my memory ....even hours after i stop playing it.

Honth pe liye hue dil ki baat hum
Jaagte rahenge aur kitni raat hum
Muqtasar si baat hai ....tum se pyaar hai
Tumhara intezaar hai, tum pukar lo

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive

.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!



I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.


It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.



I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.



I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”



It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.



It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back

.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
---Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Desserts

When sorrow comes, don’t stuff it down with drinks and food.

Set it on life’s plate and remind yourself that,

at least for the moment,

this is your fare. 

Say a prayer before you begin this heavy meal 

and ingest your grief slowly, 

pausing between spoonfuls.

Alternate each bitter bite

with sips of sweetness, 

and remind yourself that

your desserts for facing 

what life has handed 

you will come after your plate is clean. 

                 

Once I was so lost that I prayed for months for direction, 

some sign that would show me the way. 

But no sign came, 

no answer or help. 

How could that be, 

I wondered, 

when I’d always been given answers before?

It was only in hindsight that I realized

I had been answered. 

And the answer was this:

Learn to be okay with not knowing what’s next.

Advice from Mum

Advice from Mum
Always play fair, even if others don't,
Playing fair makes you stronger.
You are never too old to kiss your mum
Or hold hands when you cross the street.
A nap in the afternoon lets you recharge
Your batteries and is good for the soul.
Give yourself time out from others
whenever you need it.
An ounce of gut instinct is worth
A pound of straight logic any day.
Loving with a whole heart is a huge risk,
But it is when you love wholeheartedly
That you know you are really alive.
Not everyone will like you,
That has nothing to do with who you are,
It is about who they are.
It is not always enough to do your best,
Sometimes you have to do what is required.
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
Be kind to those who can not
find kindness in themselves.
Prayer, meditation and contemplation
Are all ways of simply being still with yourself.
Good manners are always in fashion.
You have the internal resources to deal with life.

 

Badal dhune,moosam bune,
Sadiya gini,lamhe chune.
Badal dhune,moosam bune,
Kuch garm the kuch gungune.
Tere ishq mein......

Stop....Wait and Let go.

.            

.Stop, wait and let go
By Vatsala Kaul Banerjee

Let's face it. Many of us have latched on to people and things that have hurt us, angered us, made us sad  and caused us stress. We tell ourselves that it doesn't make sense a thousand times over. But still come up with that 'one more' reason (read, excuse) to hold on.

In turn, they continue to clutter our lives, making us choke to the extent that our daily activities begin to get affected. In this futile attempt to hold on, we forget that letting go is not just liberating (yup, it takes that big load off your chest and you go, "Whew, I have done it!") but also boosts health and happiness.

As Swiss poet, novelist and painter, Hermann Hesse once said, "Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go." This  year, read on to know when you should muster up that courage and let go to welcome a whole new life.

1. When something or someone that should give you happiness gives you grief.

Whether it's a family heirloom sofa that sticks into your derriere every time you sit on it or a person whom you have expected happiness from gives you nothing but pain, it's clearly time to let go.

Somewhere between our conditioning to make things work as much and for as long as possible and an unthinking discarding of whatever doesn't work the first time round, there is a middle path-when your head and heart both begin to say, 'Hello, why exactly are you going on with this!' and you know it's simply time to let go.

2. When someone hurts you.

When a relationship is mentally and/or physically abusive, the first resort should never be to bear it, but to seek remedy. If counselling works, great; if it doesn't, it's clearly time to move on. Don't try to find reasons and excuses: he was a good person, he had a fine core once: if it's not showing up for any length of time, it's time to let go. Nothing-not your love, nor your children's future, is worth the warping of mind, body and soul that mental and physical violence cause.

3. When something or someone has not really been part of your life for a length of time.

For things, they say, throw away anything you haven't used in six months. If you are a hoarder, increase that to two years, maybe. But after that, bin it. For people and relationships, it depends: if you have been actively trying to keep a relationship going, with no response or improvement in the positive aspects of the relationship, be it with family or friends or colleagues-stop. It's time for the deep freezer.

4. When something or someone is causing you to be dysfunctional in daily, normal life.

You can't work because your mother/father/sister/brother/partner/friend is dominating your life and your decisions, or interfering so much in the kind of personality you are, or in the kind of things you want to do, that you find it hard to be yourself, to be normal. If you have to constantly work against being yourself and always sacrifice on how you want to lead your life, it's time you scratched those names out as far as possible from your list of priorities.

Says Dr Jitendra Nagpal, consultant psychiatrist, VIMHANS and Moolchand Medcity, New Delhi, "An increasing level of criticism, impatience, intolerance, unresponsiveness, callousness and jealousy are signs that you need to reprioritise.

Constant indifference, a desensitisation to love and the thought that you're getting a raw deal tell you it may be time to let go."

5. When something or someone is beyond any reasonable control.

It could range from a pet that needs to be put to sleep, to a boyfriend/girlfriend who is overpossessive or unfaithful, or a job or colleague that gives you unending grief-rather than being full of negativity about the situation, it's best to end it.

"There's no point in living with 'baggage', some make-believe past glory and accommodating it into your life," says Nagpal. There are some situations you just can't help. Accept it and go forward. Understand that sometimes you have to live with some emptiness inside you, but the pain will cease with time. Dr Vivek Benegal, additional professor of psychiatry, NIMHANS, Bengaluru, says, "It's extremely important to let go when you lose someone and move on, or else you would risk mummifying the person's memory leading to prolonged grief."

6. When there's no love, nor need, nor desire.

Emotional commitment keeps most of us afloat, but when that is absent, there is very little that can help you go on. Loveless bonds may go on because they are convenient, but rather than enriching us, they only drain and drag us down. In such a situation, nothing works like letting go.

However, even as you must be open to letting go whenever required, remember you are the best person to analyse if you've reached a situation when you truly need to let go and not do it just for the sake of convenience. "It's always a good idea to talk to a friend or family member you are close to, before taking a decision," advises Nagpal....

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger?

I am not a subscriber for mushy ...over the top drama of emotions but found this story cute....so here it is.
There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese Legend…

Thumb represents your Parents


Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings


Middle finger represents your-Self


Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner


& the Last (Little) finger represents your children




Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold them together – back to back

 Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb – tip to tip


Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)…, they will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.


join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings)…., they will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own separate lives.


Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing your children)…., they will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day.


Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers (representing your spouse).


You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT….., because Husband & Wife have to remain together all their lives – through thick and thin!!


Do try this out………….

ISN’T THIS A LOVELY THEORY?

Husn ka zewar pehenkarr........

woh itraate phiree deewano ki galiyon mein,


Unke Adaa ke.....


Girte hue kuch nayaab se gehne....


...bas humne ikhatte kiyee hai!!

Move on.......

 Here is something that really touched my soul and i loved the hope...the positive energy it gives you...such a powerful message.

Those hurts and pains that we experience in life don't just magically evaporate as we grow older. They rumble around in us, and when we have reached a level of strength, maturity, insight, and awareness to handle them, they come up to be worked through. This is one of the ways our inner being is loving to us. It gives us every opportunity to heal the hurts that we need to heal, and it gives us that opportunity when we are strong enough to handle it. Sometimes we go through experiences that we simply aren't strong enough to handle without a lot of support and help, and often the support is absent. So we push them down and we wait. When we are ready they come back up. This gives us the chance to work through these old anguishes when we have what we need for the task.

Affirmation to make......

"When I am ready, I will have the opportunity to make these journeys to old hurts with the knowledge that I can heal them and move on ".

Barish hai khayalon mein

Sab dhul jayega
Roshan rasta naya
Ek khul jayega
Beh jayega
Tinka Tinka Dil ka silsila
Chalo Mil Jayega
Aur ek Hasin Kafila
Chalooo

Chat tapakti hai Kabhi ehsaas ki

Yaad aati hai Purani pyaas ki
Par naye naye badal baras ka jhoomte
Boond ki ladiyon se maatha chumte hain


Bheegne ki yeh ghadi hai
Ek nayi rut sang khadi hai
Baat choti per Badi hai yeh

Kitni unchi shaakh pe khusiyon ke pal

Phir bhi khusboo tod li humne uchal
Haan Kanch ka saman the aur gir gaye hum
Jod kar khudko banane phir gaye hum


Door dariya ki kinare
Zindagi karti ishare
Aasmaan pe hai naye taare


Dhooop ke makan sa yeh
Hai safar Dhalan sa yeh
Mod meharbaan sa yeh

Something i read few days back and  got inspired by....

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"

            - Movie Quote from 'Rocky Balboa'

The Lord will either calm your storm . . . or allow it to rage while he calms you

Sometimes You Just Have
to Carry On

When life hands you a surprise and you
wind up somewhere you didn't plan on being.


Maybe
It's time to stop and rest, read some good books,
regroup, and stop trying so hard.


Do
Some things you may not have taken the time
to do for yourself before.


Take time to study
All of us need to be constantly growing in wisdom.
Feed your soul by being quiet, by just being rather than doing.


Try
Not to worry or fuss or fume. to look at this situation as a challenge
rather than an obstacle, a time to develop patience.


Say to yourself
"I can handle this. This is not too big for me."


Realize
You can change your attitude
even if you can't change the circumstances.


Look
closely at your troubles. Don't let them
Cause you to give up.


Befriend them.
Say: "I'm Not afraid. I'm going to learn from you."


Feel
Them lose their power over you.
Allow them to teach you some lesson you needed to learn and
move on.


You're going to deal with this.
You're going to uncover some things about yourself even you
didn't know.You're going to find strength.


Just remember
that everything changes, so it's
Just a matter of time until this trial will be
Over and you will draw strength from the
Knowledge that even though life handed you a
Challenge, you survived; you carried on

Poem for Everyone

I will present you

parts

of

my

self

slowly

if you are patient and tender.

I will open drawers

that mostly stay closed

and bring out places and people and things

sounds and smells,

loves and frustrations,

hopes and sadnesses,

bits and pieces of three decades of life

that have been grabbed off

in chunks

and found lying in my hands.
they have eaten
their way into my memory,

carved their way into

my heart.

altogether

- you or i will never see them -

they are me.

if you regard them lightly,

deny that they are important

or worse, judge them

i will quietly, slowly,

begin to wrap them up,

in small pieces of velvet,

like worn silver and gold jewelry,

tuck them away

in a small wooden chest of drawers

and close.

- John T. Wood, 1974

Maghroor bade, banjaare nain
Nain parindey, pagle do nain
Palak jhapakte udh jayenge
Sapno ko apne ghar layenge


Nain parindey, pagle do nain

Ideologies separate us.

Dreams and Suffering brings us together

Bachpan Ka Zamana Hota Tha,

Khushio.N Ka Khazana Hota Tha.

Chahat Chaand Ko Paane Ki,
Dil Titli Ka Deewana Hota Tha.


Rone Ki Wajha Na Hoti Thi,
Hasne Ka Bahana Hota Tha.


Khaber Na Thai Kuch Subho Ki,
Na Shamo Ka Thikana Hota Tha.


Daadi Ki Kahani Hoti Thi,
Pariuon Ka Fasana Hota Tha.


Pedho Ki Shakhe Chutey They,
Mitti Ka Khilona Hota Tha.


Gam Ki Zuban Na Hoti Thi,
Na Zakhmo Ka Paymana Hota Tha.


Barish Mein Kagaz Ki Kashti,
Har Mousam Suhana Hota Tha.


Wo Khel Wo Sathi Hotey They,
Na Rishta koi Nibhana Hota Tha.

Slipping through my fingers all the time.......

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning

Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table


Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny


What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know
Slipping through my fingers all the time

I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time


Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time


Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time


Slipping through my fingers...
Slipping through my fingers all the time


Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile...

Aren't silences
as important to marriage
as conversation is ?


Isn't a spiritual journey
more rewarding than
a trip to Goa ?


Isn't soul searching
infinitely more rewarding
than endless mall hopping ?


Aren't spiritual goals
more valuable than
a fatter bank balance ?


Isn't nourishing the mind
a far richer prospect than
sampling the
 latest restaurant ?

Isn't marriage
just a little less complete
if not shared
with a soulmate ?

[ Taken from TOI]

Here is something within me

That is strong enough
To keep me from toppling
Over the edge of
Sanity,
Over the ledge of
frustration
Or over the hedge of
All-out foolishness.
It leads me to prayer
When I would otherwise
Break.
There is something in my make-up
Or my bringing up
Or just the way I look up
That straightens my back
And bows my head.
It becomes the focus of my meditation.
The sentiment in my supplication,
The reason for my transformation.
That thing inside me
Has me choosing light
Though darkness covers all.
It wells up like ocean waves
Come to drown those who
Think they deserve to push me back
Hold me down or
Steal my joy.
I have a spiritual strength that
Grows deeper and speaks louder as I get to know
More about who I am.

Dear Lord,
Remind me daily
That I am the product of
Your hands...
And all that
you make... ALL THAT YOU MAKE Is Perfect.
-----Amen

It Takes Time To Heal

It Takes Time To Heal

     -Ted Hibbard

It takes time to heal.
Build a bridge
from now to tomorrow.

Sink the piers
deep into the Earth.
Pour in concrete
day by day,
a little at a time,
and let it set.


It takes time to heal.
It may feel very awkward,
as if you're making empty promises,
as if you're simply spanning empty space.


But someday, somehow, somewhere,
you'll find yourself
upon a brand new shore,
glancing back at the bridge
which you alone have built.
It takes time to heal.

Badey Ache Lagte Hain,
Ye Dharti,
Ye Nadiya,
Ye Raina, Aur,

 Aur Tum.

Mulakaatein mussalsal hon to dilchaspi nahi rehti,

Yeh betarteeb yaaranain haseen malum hote hain....

EAGLES IN A STORM

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles."

Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it.


The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm. When the storms of life come upon us - and all of us will experience them - we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God. The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God's power to lift us above them.


God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the storm.


Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.

One of my all time fav....


o saathi re din dube na -

aa chal din ko roke
dhup ke peeche daude
chaanv chhue na
o saathi re

o saathi re
o saathi re din dube na
thaka thaka suraj jab nadi se hokar niklega
hari hari kaayi pe paanv pada toh fislega


tum rok ke rakhna main jaal giraaun
tum peeth pe lena main haath lagaaun
din dube na ha
teri meri atti katti
daat se kati katti


re jaiiyo na
o piyu re
o piyu re na jaiyyo na
kabhi kabhi yun kare main daantu aur tum darna
ubal pade aankhon se feenke paani ka jharna

hmm tere kehre badan mein sil jaaungi re
jab karwat lega tu chhil jaaungi re
sang le jaaunga
teri meri angni mangni
anng sang laagi sangni


sang le jaaun
o piyu re
o saathi re din dube na
aa chal din ko roke
dhup ke peeche daude
chaanv chhue na


o saathi re